The Cosplay Skit That Never Was
by Mist Lionshade
Summary: This is a hilarious skit between Roxas and Axel involving New York, Sea Salt Ice Cream, Anger Management, Hare Hare Yukai and Funky Town! Storm and I want YOUR OPINIONS! PLZ READ! Note: It has a reference to Axel/Roxas Gayness. Written by Storm and Mist.


The Cosplay Skit that Never Was

(_Exposition: Roxas and Axel start at stage left. Both are clad in their Org. 13 Uniforms. Starts as thought they are in the middle of a conversation._)

Roxas: (_slightly sadly_)...So you're saying I don't have superpowers?

Axel: (_sighs_) You can pull a giant key out of thin air, it's been done before, got it memorized? It's just as powerful as how I can make fire do anything I want.

Roxas: By the way... how do you do that?

Axel: (_pauses_) (_nonchalantly_) My Other was an arsonist, killed a bunch of people, and destroyed three major cities in New York... nothing much...

Roxas: Uh, Axel?

Axel: Yea?

Roxas: What's a New York?

Axel: (_stares blankly at Roxas_) Um... (_Puts hand on Roxas's shoulder_) Well, you see, there comes a time in every boy's live where he must become a man—

Roxas: (_slaps hand away_) (_disgusted_) Dude! No! Just no! I didn't mean _that! _I just wanna know what a New York is!

Axel: (_rubbing back of head_) Yea...I knew that...

Roxas: (_annoyed_) _Now_ will you tell me what a New York is?

Axel: (_Pacing with arms in the 'thinking pose'_) Hmm... How do you explain New York...? (_Faces Audience_) (_Snaps_) I know: In song!

(_New York, New York starts playing_)

Roxas: Oh. My. God.

Axel: Start spreading the news  
I'm leaving today  
I want to be a part of it, New York, New York  
These vagabond shoes  
Are longing to stray  
And make a brand new start of it  
New York, New York

(_Music Ends_)

Roxas: And _how_ does that help me understand what a New York is?

Axel: Uh... (_Pauses_) (_Makes 'I-don't-know' gesture_)

Roxas: You're hopeless.

Axel: I am not! I'm more hopeful than you will ever be, got it memorized?!

Roxas: Axel, we're Nobodies.

Axel: (_pauses_) ...oh... Anyway, if I was as hopeless as you say I am could I do this?

(_Hare Hare Yukai starts playing_)

Roxas: Axel... what are you doing!?

Axel: (_Starts Dancing_)

(_10 seconds into the song, it stops_)

Roxas: (_Put hands on Axel's shoulders, stopping him_) Axel, we all know you're gay for me, but _never_ do that again.

Axel: Then what about—

Roxas: No, you can't dance to 'Hips don't Lie' either.

Axel: (_looks away, disappointed_) Damn...

Roxas: (_Pats Axel on back_) That's okay, let's just forget about it and have some Sea-Salt Ice Cream. I got some in the fridge. (_Walks to stage_ _right_)

Axel: (_panicked look on face_) Yea... About that...

Roxas: (_standing stage right_) (_mad/serious_) Axel, where's my Sea Salt Ice Cream?

Axel: (_chuckles nervously_) Funny story actually... You see I was kinda hungry earlier and that was the only thing in the freezer—

Roxas: AND YOU ATE ALL OF IT!?

Axel: But I was hungry...

Roxas: THERE WAS OVER 37 POUNDS OF ICE CREAM IN THERE! (_Charges at Axel with keyblade_)

Axel: (_raises charkams in defense while cowering in fear_) DON'T HURT ME! DON'T HURT ME! DON'T HURT ME! I'LL GET YOU MORE! GOT IT MEMORIZED?! PROMISE!

Roxas: (_slows to a walk_)

Axel: PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! (_Still cowering in fear_)

Roxas: (_pokes Axel with Keyblade_)

Axel: (_yelps in fear and jumps backwards_)

Roxas: (_using the 'why me' tone_) Why do I even bother hanging out with guys like you? That's it, I'm quitting.

(_Funky Town: Chipmunk version starts playing_)

(_walking to stage right, stepping with beat_) Gotta make a move to a town that's right for me

(_Music ends_)

Axel: No Roxas! Don't go! Look! (_Pulls out rolled up piece of paper_) I got a mission from the Superior!

Roxas: (_freezes in mid-step_) (_turns slowly to face Axel_) What _kind_ of mission?

Axel: We get to kill heartless, steal stuff (undertone) mostly Sea Salt Ice Cream (pleading voice) plus you get to miss your Anger Management session with Saix!

Roxas: (_punches air_) Yes! No AM!

Axel: C'mon let's go!

(_They both run off stage, but 2 seconds later Roxas returns_)

Roxas: (_Faces Audience_) He gone? (_Waits 2 seconds_) Okay then...

(_Hare Hare Yukai Starts_ _a bit after where it left_ _off_)

Axel: (_Walks back on stage_) (_Stares at Roxas_) (_Walks over and grabs him by the hood_) And you say _I'm_ hopeless! (_Drags Roxas offstage_)

Roxas: (_Still attempting to dance_)

**END**


End file.
